Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
When are your genitals available?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize