Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize