oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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