i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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