How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
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who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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