my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
