he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize