She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This baby is an asshole
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
How does one acquire holy water?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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