you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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