woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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