I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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