In the future we'll all be gay
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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