we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
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If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
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Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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