Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
