69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
