They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
