We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
