used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
