so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
