I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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