Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
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