it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
