he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
