Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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