i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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