Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
