just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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