Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jk440 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame

Fav 11 1160 3386
share tweet
(754): View more from Florida

you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse

Fav 14 1314 3765
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.

Fav 14 4746 1607
share tweet
(415): View more from California

this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.

Fav 11 4228 1219
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

Fav 13 9391 1462
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?

Fav 6 754 2184
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way

Fav 13 1994 1096
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs

Fav 1 406 540
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.

Fav 0 21 36
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT