Whod you bang
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
