i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
did i just pee glitter
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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