Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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