Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
