this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
