I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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