Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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