What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
