Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
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We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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