the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it's great music for shaving your balls
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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