Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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