I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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