A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
