after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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