I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
