Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
