I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
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I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
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I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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