you would pick up someone in the library
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
