You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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