matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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