She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
