reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
