Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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