ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
